I went into this move with the humble knowledge that I don't know what it is to be discriminated against because of my race and a genuine desire to understand and learn. I came out of the small theater angered and frustrated at the black community surrounding me who talked through the entire movie or silently gave permission for conversations to continue. I cried in the car on the way home.
Yes, I am an admitted movie snob. I like going to the movies and do so, usually, on a weekly basis. I like my popcorn, my "run pee" app that tells me what happens when nature calls, and being moved by the images before me (good, bad, or other). I like being taken out of my world and into someone else's. I don't like talking, much movement, or distractions when I am at the movies. I do my best to stay put so as to not distract those around me.
So, when I went to see Lee Daniel's The Butler, I was expected to be drawn into the history that this single man has seen in his life time. To be drawn into the good, the bad, and the ugly of the civil rights movement. To learn about a history of the freedom train that I know so very little about. To understand it in a personal way.
I am not naive, I know that it is hollywood and not all is fact. I take all that I see on the screen with a grain of salt but open to the truth in the emotion that I fee. It is frequently through emotion that the Holy Spirit reveals itself to me.
What does this anger mean then? Where does this frustration stem from within me? Why is it that I feel I have been disrespected?
Well a couple of things come up for me I guess:
First, I have great respect for those who were instrumental in the Civil Rights movement both great and small. I am mortified that not only was there segregation but how people were treated and treated others because that seemed to give them permission to be mean and treat others in such an undignified way. I am honored to know both black and white people who were involved in the movements in Alabama and Selma. Don't disrespect my friends. I am a loyal Taurus!
Second, I feel that when people disrespect someone so special as this movie is based upon...they disrespect me in the sense that I am not as great as some of the people in this movie. I do not have the courage to stand up for morals and principles to the point of being arrested. So, if the people sitting around me can't respect this kind of greatness then where does that put me? And then how dare you make me feel like I am not worthy of respect! How dare you Ladies!
How dare ME for believing them....even for a brief moment.
Normally, I would have said something to these disrespectful girls. And I did at the beginning of the movie but I would have said something again. I did not because I didn't believe that that I deserved their respect....because of the color of my skin....I thought that I would be perceived as the disrespectful one. Maybe it's part of their culture, no matter what country they are from. I should just be quiet because of I respect black history and the struggles that have taken place. I don't want to be seen as a racist. So, I didn't say anything else. I didn't go to management. I didn't ask for my money back or to see the movie again. I just sat there. Angry. Disappointed. Offended.
I would like to see this movie again because I would really like to have an experience worthy of the subject matter. Engulfing. Transforming. Enlightening. Moving.
I will be back Lee Daniels. I'll be back.
